MINI 10535 UOM

7/16/02

11:49 AM

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UNAUTHORIZED

OWNERS MANUAL

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This manual is not intended to help you understand the operation and maintenance of your motor vehicle. Rather, it is meant to provide you with invaluable information that would, under normal driving conditions, take most car owners months to discover for themselves. Information that has been painstakingly gleaned from many hours of vehicle operation.

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THE BASICS
The Basics The Boot, the Bonnet & Commander Cooper 4 Detailing 4 Assigned Cabin Seating 4-5 Best Places to Stash Stuff in your MINI Coin Caddy 8 Toll Ticket Cranny 8 Glove/Ice Box Cooling/Heating Feature 8-9 Strategic Golf Club Placement 9 How to Fit a Bike 9 Secret Jogging Key Nook 10 Additional Storage Info 10 Customizing your MINI Motoring Accessories 12 Making Your Own Dashboard Figurines 13 Air Fresheners 14 Cockpit Toggle Switch Conversation Starters 15 Proper Use of Bumper Stickers 15-16 Making Room for Romance in your MINI Public Displays of Affection (P.D.A.) 18 The Backseat: An Introduction 18 Making Out in Your MINI 18 Unisex Chivalry 18 Tips for Shameless Flirting at Red Lights 18 Dating Tips for Married People 19 Unconventional Use of Headlamps to Attract Attention 20 Making Beautiful Music with your MINI Strumming on the Steering Wheel 22 Tapping on the Roof 22 Playing the Tubular Door Bezel 22 Activating the Turn Signals 22 Switching on the Windshield Wipers 22 Accelerator Wah-Wah Pedal 22-23 Essentials of Good Motoring Mojo Jump Starts 26 Acknowledging Fellow Motorers 26-27 Sharing Your MINI 28 Troubleshooting Rotating Your Shorts in Public 30 Four Things You Should Never do to Your MINI 31 Additional Reading 32
BEST PLACES TO STASH STUFF IN YOUR MINI

CUSTOMIZING YOUR MINI

MAKING ROOM FOR ROMANCE IN YOUR MINI
MAKING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC WITH YOUR MINI
ESSENTIALS OF GOOD MOTORING MOJO

TROUBLESHOOTING

TROUBLE

GOOD MOJO

ROMANCE

CUSTOMIZE

BASICS

CONTENTS

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2002 The Pollock-Krasner Foundation / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York
The Boot, the Bonnet & Commander Cooper With a British car comes some rather foreign English terminology. The following are a few terms you can now use to impress your "mates": The "boot" is the bit around the back. Its where you stick the cricket bats and the take-away fishn-chips. The "bonnet" is that brilliant piece of sculpted sheet metal symmetry covering the Cooper (S) bits. Thats "Commander John Cooper" to you cheeky Yank blokes British Racing Royaltys Monarch of Modified Transverse-Mounted Engines, Earl of Acceleration, Duke of Hairpin Turns,
Fig. 1 MINI Inkblot Test Seeing bug splatters is a healthy sign youre discovering your MINIs true personality.
Fig. 2 Your MINI turns a car wash into a foam party! [Refer to Making Room for Romance Section]

Fig. 3 Beverage Stabilization in Action. Notice how the passenger tilts the cup precisely seven degrees (above) compensating for the centrifugal forces acting upon the beverage as a result of your MINIs tight cornering performance (left).
Count of Countless Checkered Flags. Translation, mates: this MINIs a real go-er. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more. Good show. Cheers. Detailing How to remove greasy prints, onlooker drool spatters and road grime to restore your MINIs lustrous factory finish: Step 1. Maintain proper perspective. MINI owners do not irrationally obsess about such things. Bug guts on the grille and muddy fenders are signs of a healthy,
well-motored life. Imagine its like tooling around town in a Jackson Pollock original. But every now and then, you may want to start over with a clean canvas. Step 2. Always use a soft sponge and mild biodegradable soap. Land and sea creatures are our friends. Assigned Cabin Seating Technically speaking, everyone motors in a MINI. The conventional nomenclature of "driver" and "passenger" no longer applies because it segregates, implying
one is active while another is passive. In a MINI, all are actively engaged in the enjoyment of motoring. However, there are a few specific responsibilities by seat assignment: 1. Pilot/Motorer (a.k.a. El Capitan, Skipper, Mac Daddy). In charge of mechanical functions and direct operation of the motor vehicle. Period. 2. Navigator (a.k.a. Co-Pilot, First Mate, Little Buddy). Responsible for: 1) Navigation. 2) Operation of MINI Magical Motoring Ball (See fig. 12). 3) Fast food drive-thru item checklist and Beverage Stabilization (BevStab). (See Fig. 3). 4) Interior hood release. 5) Also in charge of stowing maps, souvenir snow globes, and scouting for photo op. locations. 3. Passengers (a.k.a. Crew, Backseat Drivers). In a MINI, suggestions from the peanut gallery are encouraged. Motoring is a democratic act. Tyrannical control may lead to mutiny on the highway. 4. Cabin Attendants (a.k.a. Passengers). Responsible for in-flight meal and beverage service. And implementing emergency comedic procedures in event of sudden loss of cabin levity.

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MINIUSA.COM
Fig. 4 Instead of calling "shotgun", call "slingshot". Its a David and Goliath thing. Your MINI may be small, but it packs a punch.

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First things first. This book fits snugly inside the case provided for your factoryauthorized owners manual, and is designed to be stowed away in the glove box. Or conveniently left about on the coffee table. 1. Coin Caddy Technically engineered as the beverage holder. Reinvented by resourceful you as the handy loose change receptacle. CAUTION: When parking in low-lit urban areas, cover all exposed coinage with cup. 2. Toll Ticket Cranny Your MINIs dashboard console features four vertical slits (two within drivers reach, two for co-pilot assistance) for securing toll receipts and parking stubs. 3. The Glove Box Re-engineered by MINI designers. Because no one really keeps gloves in there anymore. Use it as a CD box. A toolbox. Or turn up the air conditioning, and its a refrigerated icebox.
Fig. 6 Cooling/Heating Glove Box
Fig. 7 Use floor space as parking citation crumple zone.
4. Door Cubby Accommodates: 1 cell phone, PDA, or Travel Etch-a-Sketch, depending on priorities. 3 pair sunglasses (optimists). 1 collapsible umbrella (pessimists).
Cooling/Heating Feature Turns your MINIs glove box into a mini refrigerator for chilling contents to 50 Fahrenheit. For emergency roadside candy bars and spare hero sandwiches. Your MINI goes great with mayo. Or activate the heater to warm contents from soup to nuts. (See Fig. 6)
Strategic golf club placement With both rear seats folded down, your MINI can accommodate four golf bags comfortably. Unfortunately, this leaves no room to accommodate a foursome. Recommended: with one rear seat folded down, fit one to two bags lying angled diagonally, and one to two golf buddies seated vertically. How to fit a bike: 1. Adjust passengers side seat to furthest forward non-reclining position. 2. Remove front wheel. Of BICYCLE! 3. Lay the bike on the side opposite the rear derailleur rotating the handlebars counterclockwise until they are parallel with the cargo area floor. 4. Place front wheel in cargo area and close hatch.

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Secret Jogging Key Nook The undercarriage of your MINI features a handy hideaway for stashing cumbersome key sets when you take a break from motoring for a jog, bike ride, or skinnydipping romp in the country. Place your hand just forward of either rear wheel near the rocker panel. Reach up and under the wheel well. Youll find a flat 4"X4" secret spot no one knows about but you. And tens of thousands of fellow U.S. MINI owners. NOTE: Always perform a quick 360 visual scan to make sure no one is watching you. (Fig. 8 & 9) Additional storage information Pizza Capacity: The passengers side floor accommodates four large pies stacked.
Fig. 8 & 9 The jogging key nook.

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Chia Pet is a registered trademark of Joseph Enterprises, Inc. and is used by permission
Fig. 10 The G-Force Chia Pet: Tilt Chia Pet face down and grow as directed. Then display on dashboard facing forward for realistic pulling-Gs windblown effect.

Assembly: 1. Cut out body pattern. 2. Fold together at feet. Connect A and B. 3. Add the iconic head of your choice from your favorite magazines, tabloids and books. 4. Secure to dash. 5. Motor. Ohmmmm.
Motoring Accessories Swivel-hipped hula girls and bobbing doggie heads are standard equipment in many automobiles. But as a MINI owner, you may want to consider a few accessory options more suited to your motor vehicles premium performance prowess.
Fig. 11 Making Your Own Dashboard Figurines: The Icons of Good Motoring Mojo

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Magic 8-Ball is a trademark owned by and used by permission from Mattel, Inc. 2002 Mattel, Inc. All rights reserved.
Air Fresheners. Nothing beats that new car smell. But life happens. You suddenly take up ferret breeding. Your MINI becomes possessed by the spirit of a recently-deceased skunk. You chauffeur a couple of your alma maters lacrosse team players who leave their sweaty gear in your backseat. Eventually, you may want to spruce things up: Sprig of Pine. Forget the faux eau-depublic-toilette imitations. The real thing is sweeter, and its free. Or substitute fresh rosemary from your grocers produce section. Peel and eat a ripe tangerine. Toss rind portion on floor area of vehicle. Park in direct sun. Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Recommended for first dates. Make them yourself, or hit the bakery on the way to her place. Dont overdo it. Its a subliminal thing. You want her thinking "nice homespun boy", not "Suzie Homemaker". (FEMALE OWNERS: Substitute fine cigars in glove box "humidor" for cookies.)
Fig. 12 MINI Magical Motoring Ball. The perfect complement to optional on-board GPS navigation. "Should I supersize my onion rings?" "Signs point to yes."
Cockpit Toggle Switch Conversation Starters Refer to your factory-authorized MINI owners manual to familiarize yourself with the layout of all dashboard instrumentation. Then refer to the pre-printed labels (included with this manual) for your own personalized customization. Proper Use of Bumper Stickers Recommended: 1. Motorer-related stickers function like post cards to strangers from a life welllived: "This car climbed Mt. Washington", "I got my kicks on Route 66", "Bat out of Carlsbad Cavern". (Fig. 13) 2. Law School Alumni window decals will make others think twice about messing with you in a Constitutionallyinappropriate manner. (Fig. 14)

Fig. 13

Fig. 14 What it says: Youre a magna cum law-abider.

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Proper Use of Bumper Stickers Discouraged: Sometimes, though we have the best intentions, comedy can backfire in our faces like a cheap gag exploding cigar. As a conscientious law-abiding motorer, always ask yourself: "To whom am I really talking here"? Below, the top three bumper sticker faux pas:
Fig. 15 Fill in the blank, go directly to jail.
Fig. 16 An all-time classic bad idea.
Fig. 17 Your friends will laugh. Til its time to pay the bail.

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Fig. 18 Holding hands while shifting lets you motor along in your relationship: First gear. Second gear. Third gear. Nothing but green lights.
Fig. 19 0-60 in 8.5 seconds flat. Leave the in-laws, the ex-boyfriends and the caterer at the altar, and elope in your MINI.
Public Displays of Affection (P.D.A.) Highly encouraged. You and your designated significant other take your MINI out for a wash and buff on a bright sunny Sunday for the whole world to see. Yo, people, get a garage! The Backseat: An Introduction Your MINIs spacious backseat and rear cargo area means theres plenty of room to comfortably accommodate everything you need to rev up the romance in any relationship from long-stem roses and heart-shaped helium balloons by the dozen to a 36 large-screen TV with both rear seats folded down. (Degree of romance may vary with relationship mileage.) Making out in your MINI The backseat. The front seat. Be spontaneous. Refer to factoryauthorized owners manual for window defogger operations. Unisex chivalry Who cares if men and women are from different planets? Come down to Earth and open the dang door. Its the polite human thing to do. Tip for shameless flirting at red lights Substituting the words "olive juice" for "I love you" when lip-synching your affections through the window achieves the desired effect, and could potentially save you from messy verbally-binding legal entanglements down the road.

MINI Prenuptial Agreement: Substituting birdseed for ceremonial rice on wedding day may invite unwanted aerial bombardment of your MINIs lustrous factory finish. But its the right thing to do.
Dating tips for married people Your MINI can be a great source of escape from the ruts of everyday life. 1. Make a hot date. With your spouse. Act like complete strangers. 2. Remove child seats (if applicable) and 9-to-5 baggage. 3. Motor around block and pick her up at "her place". (Or pick him up at "his place" owner gender and romantic orientation may vary.) 4. Catch dinner and a movie. Or motor to the nearest scenic overlook and catch a sunset.

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Unconventional Use of Headlamps to Attract Attention Your MINIs halogen lights are integrated into the bonnet (hood). Subsequently, raising the bonnet raises the headlamps. A handy feature for attracting Luna moths, playing Romeo & Juliet, illuminating nighttime tailgate parties and locating sexy neighbors treed kitty. (Fig. 21) IN EVENT OF BEING HOPELESSLY STRANDED in the middle of nowhere, or just hopelessly bored at home, rake the night sky with your headlights using a Hollywood premiere sweeping motion and let the party (search or otherwise) find you.
Fig. 20 The aphrodisiac effects of adrenaline & tire cleaner. Fig. 21

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2. Tapping on the roof adds additional percussion, though care should be taken that any rings on fingers do not scratch your MINIs distinctive black or white roof factory finish. 3. Playing the tubular door bezel: Syncopated banging upon the silver door tube adds bass. Adjust levels with a thump to the armrest. The door bezel is your conga. 4. Activating the turn signals provides a distinctive percussive cadence when motoring around turns. 5. Switching on the windshield wipers adds a rhythmic whoosh, whoosh, whoosh to the mix.

Fig. 22

o o o o o
6. Accelerator/Wah-Wah Pedal. (Fig. 23)
Fig. 24 The motorers horn section: Your MINI adds accompaniment in the key of D.
Your MINIs superior performance is designed to fill you with a heightened sense of exhilaration and an undeniable urge to perform yourself. The following are creative ways to play your MINI like a finely-tuned instrument, and express the song in your heart.
1. Strumming on the steering wheel establishes the compositions rhythm, but should not be performed while engaging in turns. NOTE: Your MINIs horn is not a musical plaything, and should be sounded only when absolutely necessary in traffic situations, i.e. greeting fellow MINI owners.

Fig. 23 1.6 liter 16V 115 Hp Cooper engine turns your MINIs accelerator into a wah-wah pedal at red lights. (163 Hp supercharged wah-wah pedal on S models.)

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Fig. 25 MINI Performance Art. Oftentimes, the rhythm of the road can inspire sudden improvisational dances such as the spontaneous Red Light Fire Drill shown above.

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Jump Starts Opting NOT to exchange electrical charges with total strangers is up to the individual motorers discretion. HOWEVER, random acts of kindness do continue the flow of positive energy. Which adds up to good motor mojo for you. Acknowledging Fellow Motorers Dating back to MINIs birth in the UK, there exists a time-honored tradition of owners greeting each other when they pass on the streets. The moment you first sat in your MINI, you became a member of the family. So, as is customary, try and refrain from acts of shyness, aloofness or woeful complacency. When you pass another MINI, say, "Hey".
Fig. 26 Connect red to red. Black to ground. Stranger to stranger.
Index Finger Salute Subtle. Sublime. "Sup!" Peace Sign Though flower-powered Minis never lined the interstates leading to Woodstock, N.Y., Minis did enjoy a rather colorful bohemian past shuttling shaggy-haired hipsters from Liverpool to Amsterdam in the 60s. Then, as now, love is all you need. That and petrol. Thumbs Up Appropriate when paying homage to Classic Mini owners. Motorers Oath of Honor REPEAT: On my honor, I do solemnly pledge to be trustworthy, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful and brave. The Wave Customarily, Mini-owning members of Britains Royal Family always presented the back of the hand, raised in a slow tight circular motion when greeting subjects. You, living in a democracy, may choose something a little less upper-crusty when acknowledging throngs of well-wishers along your parade route. Tap-on-the-Roof "Top of the Day". The motoring equivalent to politely tipping your hat. Winking the Lights The motoring equivalent to batting your eyes.

Thumbs Up

Motorer's Honor

Royal Wave 1

Royal Wave 2

Commoner Wave 1

Commoner Wave 2

Roof Tap 1

Roof Tap 2

High Beams 1

High Beams 2

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Sharing your MINI Use this simple diagnostic checklist to help you decide who is qualified to borrow your MINI in the likely event friends, relatives and coworkers should all request to use it simultaneously. The one who answers every question correctly gets to motor on.
(Photocopy and cut out for future use)
/ 2002 The Estate of Peter Sellers by CMG Worldwide www.cmgww.com
1. Finish the following: Sir Alec 2. Have you ever driven a six-speed manual Getrag shifter? (Cooper S Model Only) Y N 3. Other than 1964, in which year(s) did Mini officially win the Monte Carlo Rally? A) 1965 B) 1966 C) 1967 4. What famous celebrity Peter owned a Mini Cooper? A) Peter Piper B) Peter Parker C) Czar Peter the Great D) Peter Rabbit E) Peter Sellers F) Peter Peter Pumpkin-Eater 5. What word best describes Rita the Meter Maid who drove a Mini Cooper for the Liverpool Police Department in the 60s? A) Ugly B) Bubbly C) Lovely D) Promiscuous 6. Which of the following is NOT a component safety feature of the MINIs Braking System? A) ABS B) EBD C) CBC D) EKG 7. How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?
ANSWERS: 1. IssigonisMINI Patriarch 2. Y 3. 65 & 67, but disqualified in 66 over a minor technicality. 4. E) Peter Sellers 5. C) Lovely 6. D) EKG 7. Your discretion.

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Fig. 28 Use discretion. And keep the catcalls, woos and whistles for your MINI.
Rotating your Shorts in Public Whether wiggling out of soggy swim trunks at the beach, or slipping into moisture-wicking bike shorts for a ride in the country, follow these instructions for taking it all off and putting it all back on. And save yourself the lewd & lascivious downtime. CAUTION: Car doors should not be used as privacy screens by those over 6 tall. Because of your MINIs lower center of gravity, doors may be inadequate for keeping your private bits out of other peoples snooping noses. So to speak. 1. Wrap a beach towel around your waist. 2. Sit down inside vehicle and, reaching under towel, use a shimmying motion to remove what youre wearing, taking care not to loosen towel. 3. Repeat in reverse order, applying clothes until dressed.
FOUR THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO TO YOUR MINI 1. Never leave your MINI unattended and unlocked with the engine running and a giant sign on top reading, "Back in tenfeel free to move car if in way." 2. Absolutely no Viking helmets. Not the football team, the ancient Nordic conquerors. No matter how much the explorer spirit of motoring gets in your blood, resist the urge. Pointy Viking horns may cause damage to plush vehicle interior. 3. Never drive through flowing water. Thats called motor BOATING. 4. Never call your MINI by another cars name.

STASH MUSIC ROMANCE CUSTOMIZE

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BOOKS ON TAPE: Road Rage RelaxationDean Montalbano NOTE: MEDITATION TAPE ONLY. NOT FOR USE WHILE MOTORING.
On the RoadJack Kerouac Theres No Toilet Paper on the Road Less Traveled The Best of Travel HumorLansky Roadfood: 500 Diners, Farmland Buffets, Lobster Shacks, Pie Palaces and Other All-American EateriesJane & Michael Stern Fodors Flashmaps of NY, Washington, D.C., Chicago & San Francisco Fodors How to Pack.Laurel Cardone The Book of Motoring.MINI

ADDITIONAL READING:

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2002 MINI, a division of BMW NA, LLC. BRO003-02

The Ultra Mini Netbook

& mobile companion
COMsciences, Inc. 2008 : Unauthorized Reproduction or Redistribution is Prohibited

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Mobile Companions

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Main Features
Full Function Multimedia Netbook
Connectivity: Bluetooth pairing to handset with DUN; WiFi to connect with home network or hotspot (network can be locked if desired); USB for external HSDPA dongle (optional) Communication: Browser, email, IM, web cam Multimedia: Photo album, music and video player and games PIM: Contacts, calendar, alarm, world clock, notepad, stopwatch, calculator, timer and notepad USB connection for PC Synch Micro SD up to 8GB Dedicated Hot Keys for automatic Bluetooth and WiFi Branded hotkeys for email, IM and other functions Stereo headset (mini USB or Bluetooth) Personalise with optional covers

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Service Provider Benefits
Bluetooth 2.0 + EDR to pair to DUN compatible cell phone
Web browser Opera Mini 4.1 Email protocols POP3 / IMAP /SMTP Instant Messaging (MSN)
Opens a new market for services to the hard-to reach adolescent market aged 9-13 and young teens aged who cannot afford a Smartphone and who prefer small formats Perfect for consumers in emerging markets who dont need or cannot afford other mobile data solutions Puts mobile email and Internet into the hands of down market consumers increasing the subscriber base and data traffic

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Advantages
Provides the critical link between home data networks and mobile data use without need to upgrade existing equipment Increases service and application use while on-the-go and at home Can be locked to preferred network Excellent incentive for customer acquisition, customer retention, customer upgrade programs Can be loaded with value added software such as video conferencing and social networking

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Keeping it Simpler
Clamshell, ultra-compact and rugged package Full Qwerty or Azerty keypad makes texting easy LCD : TFT 2.8 inch QVGA, 262k colors, landscape Integrated video camera, Speaker and mic. Dedicated Hot Keys for specific functions like email, IM, browsing, contacts and music Multi-directional key 2 soft keys and Hot Keys control all key functions Bluetooth and WiFI direct access keys Dedicated numeric keys

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Uncluttered User Interface

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Accessorize to Taste

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iKIT Specs

Physical

Clamshell form factor Dimensions: L95mm x W65mm x D15.5mm Weight: approx. 113g with battery

Connectivity

- WiFi 802.11b/g - Bluetooth 2.0 EDR - Compatible with most DUN handsets - Mini USB 2.0 (can be configured for use with HSDPA dongle)

Technical

CPU: Marvell PXA270, 312MHz External casing: Plastic soft-touch finish Keypad: Hard cap with metal dome Integrated video camera for web-conferencing LCD: 240x320, 2.8 TFT 262k color Memory: 128MB (ROM), 64MB SDRAM (RAM) Keypad: QWERTY/AZERTY/Numeric/Navi (Backlit) Audio: Stereo headset, built-in speaker with mic. External memory: Micro SD up to 8GB Lithium-Ion battery with up to 250 hours stand-by, 6 hours WiFi use and 6 hours gaming

Software

OS: Linux Language: English/Spanish/French (others possible)

Applications

Browser: Opera Mini 4.1 Email (POP3/ IMAP) IM clients (as specified by customer) PIM including Contacts & Calendar Photo album (JPG, GIF, BMP & PNG) VoIP client (as specified by customer) Music player (MP3/MIDI/WAV) Video player (MP4/3GP/AVI) Java Synchronization with MS Outlook

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Product Road Map

iKIT Evaluation Samples

iKIT Commercial Product

iKIT Touch Samples

iKIT Touch Commercial Product

iKIT TV Pro Samples

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What people are saying

Im anxious to get my hands on IMOVIOs iKIT Yahoo! Tech
Its a great little device for people who want a reasonably priced handheld with WiFi ShinyShiny.tv
Young people have always gone for those products, which can keep them pace to pace with the technology without spending much. So, the Imovio iKit mini laptop can do that, and it can even be seen as an swap for smartphones or miniPCs Gizmo Watch

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IMOVIO - Background
COMSCIENCES, the parent of IMOVIO, has developed or marketed products for major consumer brands including: Nintendo, Sega, Disney, Mitsubishi, Microsoft, Sanyo, Hitachi, Motorola, and many others IMOVIO means fast moving IMOVIOs design roots come from California where mobility is a way of life IKIT is the first in a series of Ultra-Mini Mobile Companions aimed at children, adolescents and seniors IMOVIO is backed by an experienced international product design team Engineering and manufacturing in Shanghai China Marketing and sales teams based in Los Angeles and Paris Product support, sales and after-sales services customized to for each market

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COMSCIENCES - IMOVIO Main Office 4712 Admiralty Way Suite 870 Marina Del Rey, California 1199
European Headquarters 4 rue Georges Ville 75116 Paris France 33 (0)40 www.imovio.com
Imovio is a registered trademark of ComSciences Inc.

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